a customer walks in to Tony’s barber shop for a haircut. as he snips away, Tony asks, ‘so any gossip?’ the man tells him he’s off for a long awaited trip to London.
‘London?!’ Tony says, ‘why would you want to go there? its full of English people and is freezing! well, how are you getting there?’
‘we’re flying with FGA,’ the man replies
FGA?! yells Tony. they’re awful. their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they never run on schedule! so where are you staying?’
we’ll be at the downtown QE international.’
‘that DUMP?!’ says Tony. that’s the worst hotel in all of England! no heating in the rooms, grotty carpets, way overpriced! what are you gonna do in London?’
the man says, ‘we’re going to visit the queen.’
‘HA! that’s rich!’ laughs Tony. ‘you and a million others! bet you don’t even catch a glimpse of her.’ a month later, the man comes in for a visit. Tony asks, well, how did that trip to London turn out? betcha FGA gave you the worst flight of your life!’
‘no,’ answered the man. ‘the flight was excellent. Had a gorgeous air hostess and the food was better than anything I have ever eaten.’
‘hmmm, ’Tony says, ‘well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.’
‘no, quite the opposite! They’d just finished refurbishing. It’s the finest hotel in London, now. They gave us the royal suite for no extra charge!’
‘well,’ Tony mumbles, ‘I KNOW you didn’t get to see the queen!’
‘actually we were quite lucky. As we toured Buckingham palace, a guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the queen likes to personally meet some of her visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to wait, the queen would come out and say hello. Sure enough, after five minutes the queen walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as she spoke a few words to me.’
Impressed, Tony asks, ‘tell me, please! What did she say?’
‘oh, not much really. Just, ’where’d you get that TERRIBLE haircut