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I’m thinking of going in for one of the easy sports because I’m frightfully lazy, maybe that one where they cycle around the track really slow for six or so laps before doing a mad 100 meter dash for the line, how hard can that be? I have a penny-farthing in the garage somewhere I can use.
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Is It To Late For Me To Train To Become Part Of The London Olympic Squad For 2012?
Written on:October 14, 2009
In category: London 2012
Tags:2012 , Become , cycle , Late , London , meter dash , Olympic , Part , penny farthing , Squad , thinking , Train
Tags:2012 , Become , cycle , Late , London , meter dash , Olympic , Part , penny farthing , Squad , thinking , Train
I have for some time been thinking about forming the British virgin de-flowering relay team. It’s clearly one of the few sports at which we can still excel and I sense little prospect of any serious competition from our friends in the USA who are hampered by political correctness and still consider Nandrelone to be a more effective performance enhancer than a bucketful of Viagra.
Perhaps you and Daveshire might care to drop in for one of the training sessions. I regret to say that we are a bit short on virgins at present but I have one or two tenants who are behind with their rent so I’m sure we can arrange something.
Well i was thinking of starting a support team for the lovely gymnasts, we would watch and gawp..er admire from the sidelines and perhaps sniff er, wash their smalls afterwards.
You are more than welcome to aid me in this endeavour dear chap, i think you would be an asset to the team. x
Heres a thought old boy-why not enter the special Olympics, perhaps in the three legged race or whatever special event they have, fake a bit of a limp or whatever, then in the last ten meters claim to be miraculously ‘cured’ and sprint to the finish.
You could be sipping gin from a golden trophy in no time at all.
The best way for you to train would be to ingest as many performance-enhancing drugs as possible. A good sport is shot-put. You could practice by throwing some servants.
Even if you get caught, it’s only a two year ban. Just ask Dwain Chambers.
I think you would look a little out of place old boy. Today’s athletes are not real men and ride safety bicycles, not an ordinary.
If we could persuade the Olympic Commission to make the sport a little more gutsy by changing the type of bicycle then you could be a gold medalist but not with these wimps we have today, what?
My dear boy,
Hate to say this’ but my dear chappie you are simply are to old
Relax and enjoy the Olympics from your T.V on your yacht
with a good drink, ….what….what
Spiffing good show.